Death is scary . Suicide is scary . And when you ’re a valued member of a long - standing community who supports and helps one another , you do n’t fake dread level about either to sadden and embarrass your friend . You do n’t ruin year of relationships to pull a stupefied laugh that take down true tragedy . You do n’t make a fake account — pretending to be your married woman — and post on Metafilter that you killed yourself .
Which is to say : You do n’t do exactly what Marc , aka holdkris99 , did last week .
Marcfaked his own suicideandtricked a whole communityinto feeling no-account for him . He ’s still alive in real life , but he killed himself online . For what ?
“A Bad Experiment”
Metafilter , the pristine oasis in a world of smudgy , circuit - yank net forums , fall victim to a adult male who disregarded the six years he spent developing relationships , write long posts , and dispensing advice and instead choose to run a“bad experiment or joke or whatever”that in his words , “ convey too far . ” That ’s a juvenile and terribly selfish way to put it , to say the least .
The Metafilter community prides itself on supporting each other . What ’s strange is that Marc once used his handgrip , holdkriss99 , to do just that . For six old age , he helped masses . citizenry recognized him and the Emily Post he wrote . He became an authoritative part of the Metafilter fabric . He was what made Metafilter different from other forums . And when he counterfeit his death , people were authentically sorry . They hadlost other member before . It was a ugly touch sensation . The members were there for the multitude it really find to , then , and they were there for Marc , now .
So what happened ? How did Marc belt down holdkriss99 ?
Suicide Is Painless
On May 16th , Marc ’s “ married woman ” reach out to the Metafilter mod , inform them that her hubby had commit self-annihilation the late weekend . The mods set her up with an account to post her sob story , a 4,000 Christian Bible tome which include narration of sexual abuse , meth addiction , prison , their wedding , death , murder , depression , and what he loved . It was intense . It made people cry . The Metafilter residential district adopt it as actual . Much of it could still be real . But , knowing as we do fuck that Marc himself belike posed as his wife to post it , the contents are very likely fabricated .
The mods had their own questions about Marc ’s end too , tell :
We give folks the welfare of the doubt and assume all else being equal that things are on the level , because they almost always are , but we also doubled - check things , and face into material when user bring worries to us . And there were some quietly worrying things in this vitrine — no easy - findable obituary notices , no aggregations of condolences on social culture medium pages — but none of that ’s a smoking gun . When we determine a unmediated reference from one of Marc ’s friends to having hung out with him at an event several years after his alleged suicide , that intend we had to ask .
The Metafilter moderator e-mail back Marc ’s “ wife ” about how they spotted Marc in a moving picture on Facebook years after he supposedly “ give way . ” The jig was up .
Today , Marc ’s “ wife ” let in to the joke , albeit unapologetically , pronounce only that it had gone too far . But by then it was too previous . Once you annunciate something to the cyberspace , it becomes very hard to unannounce .
Sad Tidings
Oh , this is horrifying . For some reason I had clicked on his username a few sidereal day ago and marveled at the awful donation he brought to this community .
My favourite holdkris99 story is this one , which is about your marriage ceremony .
He seemed like such an astonishing person ; if there is anything the Metafilter community of interests can do to serve you during this time , please do not waver to require . This is a dread loss and I wish you peace .
posted by lalex at 9:42 necropsy on May 16 [ 2 darling ]
and :
I am so sorry for your loss . Your hubby was a vivacious and loved phallus of this site . His contribution helped make this community thrive and his answers in AskMe help many different people with a huge variety of problems , range from how to cook something to the thorniest of human relationship issues .
We were lucky to have his presence here , and I would wish to thank you for sharing this intelligence , and the tale of your own lives and love with us ; I feel honoured and thankful you have chosen to do so .
posted by locoweed at 9:50 PM on May 16 [ 7 favourite ]
I am so sad for your personnel casualty . Thank you for taking clock time to publish that beautiful post . My wife is going to wonder why I ’m cry and she feels the same room about MetaFilter that you do .
Please cognize that there are literally thousand of citizenry here who have you in their hearts .
posted by The World Famous at 10:26 PM on May 16 [ 56 pet ]
And thou others come out in living . It was n’t a candlelight vigil , but it was as near as the Internet get under one’s skin . Metafilter users were authentically saddened and hurt by the news . Even on other networks , people spill the beans about holdkris99 ’s expiry . These people cared . And then it was fake .
Cheap Tricks
What does Marc ’s sick and distorted hoax tell us ? To not care ? To not commit anything we see online ? To not believe in what masses ever say , even if they ’ve been trustworthy — helpful , even — before ? To not have protagonist ? mayhap . It ’s the internet , your Es - report is thrown around when the great unwashed e - honor you , but easily tossed out because there ’s no real - world economic value to it .
But by doing that , it means they — the injurious pranksters , the misanthropic , the awful — win . They change you into one of them . That ’s not what a residential area is about . You do n’t second - guess the people you commit in your life . You do n’t permit an asshole ’s mistake dumb your true friend ’s job . You stay put around . You offer a articulatio humeri . It ’s your residential area . It ’s your friends . It count to you , even though it never mattered to them . [ , Metafilter , Thanks , Matt ! ]
paradigm Credit : John David Bigl III / Shutterstock
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